I met the guy who makes the buns for Zaxbys Nibblerz.
He doesn’t own a restaurant. He doesn’t manage one. He doesn’t come up with the menu items, or train the cashiers.
He makes one part of one menu item for a chicken place. And has a wildly successful business.
If you’ve been trying to open a restaurant for a while and it’s just not working…consider a career making the buns.
We love a good step by step process. We identify where we are, where we need to go next and what victory looks like when we complete the last step.
i.e. Here are the steps, now go as fast as you can.
But some processes aren’t meant to speed through…
Making a friend
Writing a song
Building a culture
Grieving a loss
There are books and outlines and podcasts and courses on topics like these, and while they’re helpful, it’s easy to think that if you’re not completing the final step that you must be behind in the game.
The goal isn’t to get to the end. Speed isn’t a key ingredient. Rather, the goal is to experience the sturdiness that comes from each step.
In business we spend a lot of time convincing the other people that they need what we’re offering.
It’s impossible to know what the group of people needs but we make an assertion, put action behind it, and see how it plays out.
In business this is great.
But in relationships it’s better to just ask what the other person needs rather than spending time guessing and putting energy into filling a need that isn’t needed.
Talent shows and contests used to be a great way to get discovered…plucked from obscurity and launched into stardom.
A bunch of acts submit material to an unknown submission board. The board picks five or six for the talent show. A group of judges say who won. The winner is elated and gets a prize and respect. The losers are sad and gear up for next year.
But now the losers don’t have to wait until next year..and the winner only gets a few minutes to celebrate before the Talent Show is asking for more.
The problem with talent shows back then and the Talent Show going on every second of everyday is that no one knows the criteria. And in the Talent Show no one knows who the judges are or what they’re judging or even what the prize pack includes.
We’re all familiar with what a dramatic reading is. It’s a lot like dramatic speaking (which we’re also familiar with), only the words come from a book or a poem or another form of literature.
More emphasis and movement and inflections and hand gestures and eye brows up or down.
But the idea of ‘dramatic hearing’ is something that’s easy to get a little too good at without realizing it…taking a few words or sentences someone says and extrapolating an entire narrative about the intent of the speaker, the near and distant consequences, what it will mean for me, what does this say about them, and how does that effect my connection with them.
Lay down the dramatic hearing and simply listen.
Why are you doing this?
Where do you want to end up?
What are you willing to compromise to get there?
What is non negotiable?
What do you lack?
How will more money help?
Who has been down this road before and can you gain access to learn from them?
What will you have to give up?
Who will you have to part ways with?
Where does your benefit and their benefit intersect?
»» Bonus…Who could you have these conversations with?