Don’t Confuse Seriousness With Vulnerability

Van rides, plane rides, bus rides, train rides.

Musicians have a lot of down time on the road.

That time is filled with lots conversation.  About everything under the sun.

Serious conversations about deep things and even serious conversations about simple and stupid things.

Serious conversations are great to have with your band, and bring you closer to one another.

But, relationally, they only take you so far.

Don’t confuse seriousness for vulnerability.

Don’t confuse deep for vulnerability.

Being vulnerable is very different from merely being serious or deep.

You could be talking in the bus at 3am about the political landscape of the heaven as it pertains to the devil, and what exactly happens when you die….super serious, super deep….not necessarily vulnerable whatsoever.

In a band, serious and deep are great and necessary.

But its the vulnerability that brings life, growth and lasting connection.

(And those conversations usually start simple, with something like, “How are you?”)

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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com

Start Paying Attention

Doing things better benefits from learning.  

Learning benefits from remembering.  

Remembering benefits from paying attention in real time.

Paying attention benefits from valuing who you are, where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, and why.

So if you don’t know how to do things better…start paying attention.

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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com

Jimmy Fallon Lip Sync

Although Jimmy Fallon can be a little too confetti and cartwheels sometimes, he’s still good.

One thing he’s really good at is the lip-sync bit.

Go back and watch a bunch of these and you’ll see an extremely distinct thread in all of Jimmy’s amazing lip-sync performances, and when his guests knock it out of the park, they’re following the formula too whether they know it or not.

Beginning. Middle. End.

Starting low key, rising into a signature dance move or signature vocal tweak, then a more over the top finishing move.

Starting with sunglasses, throwing them off and exuding more energy, and then involving the audience at the end.

Starting with sad longing looks at the audience, then going even more inward by looking down or fake crying, and finally looking to the other celebrity to come sing a duet and make everything ok.

Start with mic on the stand, take mic off the stand with authority, end with a mic drop.

The formula works.  Three distinct, definable parts.  It clicks with the human brain.  It’s woven into our expectations and fulfillment mechanisms.

If you start looking for the beginning, middle, end progression, you’ll begin seeing it in almost every one of your favorite performances, concerts, songs, videos, tv shows, stories, books, movies, enjoyable vacations, your favorite parties…everything.

The formula connects with people.  You want to connect with people.  Use the formula to better connect with people.

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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com

One Side Of Stage Banter

Remember, when you banter with an audience member, the rest of the audience has no idea what’s going on.

They can only hear your side of the conversation.

Most of the time this creates a lull, a disconnect, a non-inclusive moment in the show.  

And maybe you’re doing that on purpose.

But probably not.

If you’re going to engage someone in the audience for very long, make your side of the conversation something interesting for everyone.

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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com

The Credit? Nah, I’m Good

“You know what, I’ve been given all the credit I need. I don’t need any more credit for things.  Credit? Nah, I’m good from here on out.  Everyone else, you take it.”

I’ve never heard anyone say that.

We want the credit. Desperately. And a little more certainly wouldn’t be uncalled for.

We have a strange relationship with credit.  At least the entertainment world around me does.

We all want a lot of credit for doing the least amount possible.

The music industry is the worst.

We’re willing to make a phone call for someone if the phone call is easy.

If it might be an awkward phone call, we’re out.

We’re willing to pass along an email address if the mail-search on our phone works quickly.

If the email address someone needs from us isn’t easily found…sorry we just can’t make it happen.

We’re willing to give a little time and energy today, if we can spare it.

If we sense it’s going to bleed into tomorrow, we won’t even sign up to begin with.

We might be willing to try one time, but following up couldn’t be further from our minds.

If it’s easy, we’ll help, and if it works we’d like a lot of credit…for working really hard.

Are we willing to change this?

Instead could we start working harder than expected? Be more generous with our follow through?  Be insistent on someone else’s dreams coming true? And give away more credit?

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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com

2015 Goals

I took a look at my 2015 goals today.  

At this point in the year its more for reflection…no sense in cramming.  Those “every day” goals are impossible now that we’re eleven months into 2015.

But some areas are bright…some have barely been lit this year.

For me, I love completion. I love doing it right. I love consistency.

My brain tends to long for the black and whiteness of success/fail, either I did it or I didn’t do it.

But maybe goals don’t have to be all or nothing all the time.

And maybe that’s a good thing.

If the goal is to write everyday….then the truth is writing everyday is better than writing most days.  And writing sometimes is much better than writing no times.  

So if the goal is to write everyday and instead you write most days, you didn’t fulfill your goal. But you’re a lot better off than if you never committed to the goal in the first place.

The silver lining isn’t meant to let you or me off the hook, it’s more a matter of recognizing progress for what it is and where it came from, and embracing its value.

I want you (and me) to complete goals 100%, all the way.

But if we don’t, we often times still grow, we still learn, there’s still purpose and meaning.

Here’s to finishing the year strong.

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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com