Artists know the feedback is going to be there, good and bad, or that it could be there, or that it might be there, and that if there isn’t any feedback that that is feedback in and of itself…so they perform hoping they do a good job rather than simply doing the job.
Artists (especially young artists) nowadays judge themselves on stage in real time because they know everyone else is too and have a device in their pocket that will allow their snark to be heard by tens or hundreds or thousands of people.
Great performers just forget about it because they’re too busy being great performers.
p.s. So the next reasonable question is: As an artist, HOW do I get there?
Just breathe baby, you’ll get there, it’s happening right now.
If thinking about what could be has no bearing on what will be then it’s best to think about something else.
When you send an email to book a show, get an endorsement, work with that out-of-reach person, etc and then dwell on what the response is going to be…It’s our brains searching for control in a completely uncontrollable situation.
It’s easy to think that scripting the future response in your brain will have bearing on what the actual response will be.
It doesn’t. And you know that. But you still get lulled into thinking otherwise.
You did good work by sending the thoughtful, genuine email, and then got distracted by a make believe story…
…let it go.
Get back to work.
p.s. If thinking about what could be DOES have bearing on what will be, think away. But be careful that thinking about what could be doesn’t keep you too long from doing what you need to do right now.
I think all of us in this business walk around with a little something to prove.
Some of us with a LOT to prove, some of us hide it and some of us parade it around like a badge of honor.
I’m not sure it ever completely goes away.
But I think over time, Lord willing, the chip erodes.
And in equal and opposite fashion “what you have to prove” erodes in direct correlation as you are uncovering “what you have to give”.
Now don’t get me wrong, there have been some GREAT performers and performances along the way from people who obviously have a lot to prove (and very little clue of what it is they’re giving). It can certainly make for great fireworks.
And I’m not necessarily arguing that you totally ignore what it is you feel you have to prove.
But for the long run, and for your life, it’s worth considering what you have to GIVE…and my guess is you’ll find it’s related in a strange way to what you have to prove.
See…walking into a room with something to give as oppose to something to prove sets you free. Free to care, free to help, free to inspire in the way that only you can.
Your spouse, your kids, your family and your closest friends.
And I’m not talking about dollars and cents here. I’m talking about the people who pay the price for you choosing music as a career.
To your spouse…all your career/emotional ups and downs that have seemed to coincide with your relational ups and downs. Even just think about the course of making an album:
You think you have the songs, then you don’t, then you’re on a roll, then you might have written a hit, then its all total crap, then you want to quit all together, then it’s all good again, then the label only likes half of it, then you hate the producer, then yourself, then redemption, then….everyday you bring this rollercoaster home with you, into your living room and spread it out on the coffee table, and your spouse chooses to help pay for it.
To your kids…they wonder why a show is more important than their school play or a tour is more important than their entire basketball season. They have to process how you love them very much but also how often you have to leave them. They learn that while you’re not playing and chasing them around the house, you’re out playing and chasing something else…a song, fame, prestige, money. Your kids give you (pay you) inspiration and love, but you don’t always return the gesture…you’ve chosen to spread yours around.
To your family and close friends…it’s funny how a two-way street can slowly turn into a one way. How beautiful interdependent relationships can turn into a series of unreturned voicemails. They love(d) you but you had to go. You couldn’t give the friendship what it needed anymore to grow. They understand but wish they didn’t have to. They’ve put aside their expectations to be close to you so you can freely (with out guilt) pursue what you’ve decided to hold dearest.
Yes, these people line up everyday to pay for your music.
And I want to come back to the spouse for a second…all the pain and agony that this business throws at you, they feel it too. Yes, its different, but they feel it. Because when you’re hurting and depressed and lonely, they are too. All the uncertainty, insecurity, unknowns, unfairness and injustice of the music business…your spouse stands right there and takes it. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
So when you’re done complaining how not enough people are paying attention to you, not enough people are paying their money to come see your show…
Take a moment and remember who is, who always has been, who (if you’re willing to learn to love them) will always will be.
These people in your life are paying deeply. Very deeply. They care for you so much, they hurt when you hurt, they win when you win.
I don’t have a plan for you. But with this post in mind, here’s a start…
Love your wife. Love your husband. Love your kids, your family and close friends.
When you’re willing to keep on putting out good things, over time, good things happen.
And by putting out “good things” I mean:
good songs
good artwork
good interviews
good shows
good meetings
good conversations
good laughs
promises you make good on
encouragement
good times
deep impact: whether laughing or crying, whether you have 5 seconds or 5 hours with someone
For all of these things (and a lot more), you can start doing this right now today. And tomorrow and this week. You don’t have to wait for anyone else. In fact, you shouldn’t wait for anyone else.
Are you willing to increase and/or maintain this version of “high output”?
When you do things, things happen.
And those things that happen are affected by what you do in the first place.
