The right picks aren’t necessarily the good picks.
Yeah, you might have been the one person in a gazillion who picked that 15 seed over a 2 in the first round of the college basketball tournament.
And don’t get me wrong, you get to celebrate when it turns out.
But don’t tell me it was a good pick.
It was the right pick, but it wasn’t a good pick.
Any and every metric you could possibly use in making that pick would tell you that waaaaaaaaaay more than likely, the 2 seed will beat the 15.
But instead you chose an awful pick…a truly horrible decision when given the choice between the two. You were right, but you went against an overwhelming amount of information telling you otherwise.
Now the good thing is that making a way-too risky pick in your college bracket doesn’t have any fatal consequences in the grand scheme of life…and that’s why your mind lets you pick a 15 over 2. There’s a 98% chance you’ll be wrong, which is fine, but if you’re right it’s really fun.
It’s the ol’ ends justifying the means, right?
Like when you decide to drive to the gig five hours away despite it being hurricane weather the whole way. Yes, you made the gig, but that was an awful decision…and one day you’ll realize that even though the show went on, it shouldn’t have.
Over time, your discernment develops to a point where even when the foreseeable/possible ends would justify the means, you’re aware that when the means have such an increased risk, the foreseeable/possible end isn’t justifiable as a good reason to push through.
Back in 2012 I had some downtime while on the road in Atlanta, and adhering to democratic procedure in deciding what to do with that downtime (and only one vehicle), the gang went shopping.
I needed jeans. Actually we all needed jeans.
Black jeans.
A good pair of black jeans goes a long way in a rock band.
Lo and behold we came upon Levi’s 510 Super Skinnies. What a fantastic cut of denim for a bunch of skinny white boys. Really perfect fit and a good price too.
We all bought them. And wore them and wore them and wore them.
And then about 2014/2015, somewhere in there, the knees on mine went and a belt loop busted.
No problem. I’m an adult, I’ll go buy myself some more of these jeans.
I don’t even need to try them on, I just go to the store, find my size, purchase, come home.
THEN I put them on. Not the same cut.
Oh yes, the tag said 510 Super Skinny, but these were not the same Super Skinnies of yore. These had a weird flare, they were boxy in the middle and were too long.
I return the jeans and dive into researching this catastrophe. I click around on the internet and then finally call Levi’s to find out what happened. The “customer service” person swore to me that they didn’t change the cut, I called him a liar, and that was pretty much it.
Ok so cut to 3 years later (i.e. today). I really needed new black jeans. I’d been wearing some ok-fit jeans for a while but it was time to find THE jeans again.
I will spend what it takes, I just want them to fit like those sweet 510’s.
I start at a very high price point, thinking more money may mean a better fit.
I try on jeans priced at three and four hundred dollars. I hate them.
The salesman keeps shoving jeans over the dressing room door. $250, too baggy, $450, ankle is too wide, $150 how do they even call these skinny jeans.
I consoled the salesman and told him he’s not the first one to fail me in my quest.
But now I was tired. Tired of fighting the good fight. My spirits were down my chips: low.
I regroup by sitting outside a cafe for a minute. I hop online and make a very interesting discovery via very long reddit thread regarding Levi’s old 510 Super Skinnies. THEY DID CHANGE THE CUT!!! So many people with the same griping and complaining as me!!
Ok, I feel validated now from that customer service moron years ago.
Now that I felt justice (or at least truth) had been realized with the Levi’s situation, for some odd reason my heart was ready to make a return visit to them.
If they changed the 510’s once maybe they had changed them again?
I walk in and much to my surprise there is a new Levi’s cut called the 519 Extreme Skinny.
(I think Extreme is a poor word choice here as it incites an unhealthy level of skinniness, but whatever.)
I’m feeling lucky. I grab my size. Dressing room. Discard the dumb sub-par jeans I’m currently wearing and slip on the 519’s.
AH HA!!!!!
Mmmm, this is what I’ve been searching for all these years. Tight but not too tight. Tapered ankle but not too tapered. I just barely need a belt. Appropriate rise.
I have arrived.
I can now tackle life again at full strength.
Now before Levi’s changes things up again I’m going to buy all of them everywhere later this week.
Truly truly, the whole point of this was to tell you about some good, $50 jeans if you’re looking for some :)
p.s. Fun fact: I thought of the title of this blog post and wrote it in a note in my phone before I even started this blog, about two and a half years ago. I thought it was a funny play on the Zeppelin song and I’d write something about jeans. It only took two and a half years to get the story.
I imagine it all put together on a set similar to American Gladiators. Lots of colors, lots of wild lights and muscly people around just for intimidation’s sake.
It’s a test, an obstacle course to see who is the real deal.
A gauntlet emphasizes the difficulty, not the celebrations.
Not for the faint of heart.
Here’s the course…
Station 1: Waiting Room
A moderately sized room with one chair. You have to sit in the chair for 3 hours. That’s it.
Station 2: Trailer
Exit the room and you’re on a poorly lit street, its raining a little bit and you’re already late. (You idiot, why were you just sitting around for three hours?! Now you must carry that shame with you into the rest of the obstacle course.)
The task: Unpacking and repacking a full-to-the-max trailer.
Important note: in the time you were unpacking the trailer, the drummer bought another floor tom, which must also find a place in the already maxed out trailer.
Station 3: Club Owner
You drive your rig to the club.
The task: Convincing a club owner that 2+2 is 4 when he’s believed for the last 35 years that it’s 5.
Important note: The club owner hates you. No reason.
Station 4: Stairs
Now that you’ve talked some common sense into the club owner, it’s time to load in.
The task: carrying a 1x15 combo bass amp up three sets of stairs. Then somehow the guitar player had beat you up there but now he’s passed out drunk, so you must carry a drunk guitar player down those steps and back in the van.
Station 5: Pre-mature celebration
When you got back down to the van, you get a phone call and you’re…
…informed you won the lottery!!!! A wild celebration ensues. Booze, new leather pants, a subscription to the jelly of the month club.
…however, then you are informed that you didn’t actually win the lottery…and now you’re deeply in debt from the celebration too.
Important note: You have more embarrassment and shame now.
Station 6: Sound check
You make it back upstairs for sound check
The task: sound check your instrument and microphone with a blind 85 year old sound man who only speaks an extinct 17th century Egyptian language called Coptic
Important note: doors are in ten minutes
Station 7: Deprivation
You’re done with the show and have a ticket to a magical mystery machine
…a machine that simulates the feeling of Christmas being canceled do to your lack luster hygiene.
And that’s it!!
The fastest possible time for this obstacle course is six hours…but you MUST complete it in five.
If you can do it in five, you win!!
Your prize?
Another trip through.
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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com
If I let you play with my toy train, then you have to let me play with your toy train.
If I give you a back rub, you’ll give me one, right?
If my company gives you millions of dollars, will you do everything you can to swing the vote to my benefit?
The idea of reciprocation is ingrained in us early and often. It’s incredibly powerful. It’s why there’s free samples at the grocery store. If we’re given something, we’re more likely to buy that food…partly because we like the food and party because there’s part of us that feels the need to reciprocate.
We even have words for people who don’t follow the rule of reciprocation, the people who only take and don’t give back: mooch, leech, user and parasite.
The thing about reciprocation is that there has to be an understanding that someone went first. That someone offered something up to begin with. Then the idea of reciprocation can unfold.
Offering up something first is scary because you don’t know if it’s going to be reciprocated, or reciprocated to the level you’d like. Or are these people freeloaders and don’t care about the rule at all? They’re gonna take what you give and that’s it.
It’s incredibly scary to go first, and really pretty comfortable to go second.
Saying, thinking, believing, acting out: “We’re going to give you everything we have tonight”…is scary.
It puts you in the lead role. It says you’re going to go first, you’re not going to wait for someone else, the audience doesn’t have to worry about it.
You’re going for it.
The attitude of “Give us everything you have, and we’ll give it back” or “We’ll take what the audience gives us”…is pretty comfortable.
It’s fine, but the show will constantly be dictated by the audience instead of you…as you’re waiting for them to go first. You’re looking to them to set the rule of reciprocation in motion.
Of course you’re not a freeloader and you’ll participate in the rule…but the real pros and leaders wait for no one…they go first. They lay it on the line.
Reciprocation is a powerful tool and the best way to use it to your advantage is to go first.
p.s. Another powerful piece of the rule is looking at what it is you are actually offering. What is it you are extending to the audience? Is it a good, meaningful gift? Is it a gift they want? And how do you hope they reciprocate?
It’s that time of year again. Thousands of bands making their way to Austin in search of…something…different for everyone.
(This is a funny article about how SXSW has evolved.)
I wrote a short guide on some things you can do regarding SXSW to have a valuable time. It’s been helpful to a lot of bands and artists, so maybe it will be helpful for you or someone you know too.
Here’s the conclusion of the guide. Read it all here.
CONCLUSION:
SXSW is a place where I hope you expect things to happen. I hope you expect that because you are planning on being the one who is going to dive in and make sure that things do in fact happen for you and your band
There will be thousands of interesting, quality, innovative people walking around Austin with you.
Be willing to be the first to say hello. Be willing to walk through a door. Be willing to help someone else’s dreams come true. Be willing to learn. Be willing to share.
