Like Jakob Dylan sang “man I ain’t changed but I know I ain’t the same”
We wake up every morning and work and push and figure it out again and again. We read and we think and we argue with ourselves and with people we love. All in hopes of taking one more tiny step.
And then (usually after years and years) we realize while we were focused on taking one more tiny step, the train has taken us miles from where we were.
We have some dominion over our steps so by all means pay attention.
But know that all the while the train is doing its thing.
It’s the limitations that make the story that make the connection.
It’s why no one is impressed when their friend says ‘let me tell you about this crazy dream I had last night’. Because immediately there’s no limit or boundaries to the story.
It would be easy to say you want more freedom, less constraint.
It’s hard to set boundaries and limits and deliver within them.
It’s hard to push for creative deals (deals that have terms that are out of the ordinary) because the creativity might kill the deal. And most artists are desperate for the deal, and don’t think they have walking-away power, and are willing to forgo advantageous/creative terms for the sake of association with a certain entity.
Sometimes it ends up working out. Most of the time it doesn’t. (In both cases it never goes as planned)
Most of the time the artist has more leverage than they think, but less leverage than they want. So fear and insecurity rush in.
It’s risky in negotiating a deal to ask someone to do something they’ve never done before. But it’s also very attractive for you to be confident in what you want. And attraction lessens the perceived risk.
If you want to own your masters (someday) you need to put it in the contract.
If you never want to play a show in Florida you need to put it in the contract
If you want a bowl of yellow M&M’s to show up in your dressing room it better be bolded and underlined in the contract.
Creative demands have risk and unforeseen consequences.
So does taking what you’re given.
You choose.
***One other thing worth mentioning is: who are you negotiating with? Are you negotiating with the person who has the power to say yes/no…or are you negotiating with the person who has to go ask if they can say yes or no? Entire books have been written about the distinction between the two.
People who are afraid often mask the fear as patience or laidbackness.
Patience is bringing the fear with you and then knowing what to do with the waiting.
Patience is born of contentment and unlocks freedom to move and groove in the now. But fear masked as patience only locks you up into to a felt obligation/duty to move and groove in the now. It’s fake. See the subtle and powerful difference?
I have bought my fair share of single slice pieces of pizza from Whole Foods.
And they always give me the best slice.
When I ask for a piece of pepperoni I already know which one is the biggest and best and they always give me that one.
And then a couple weeks ago it occurred to me. Everyone gets the best piece!
Because all I see is what’s there. I don’t know what’s already been taken.
The worker knows which one is the best one too. It’s obvious that’s the one I’m is hoping for. And serving the best slice is something that can be done perpetually, the customer will always be happy and believe they got the best.
Not every slice can be the best slice of the entire pizza, but every slice at some point becomes the best one available.
So there’s two parts here:
1. The worker knows exactly what I’m hoping for and comes through. And comes through for everyone else in the same way.
2. What is available is infinitely more important than what was available.
When you say ‘I don’t feel like trying today’ but you try anyways, it’s not that you’re ignoring your feelings…you’re simply bringing how you feel with you to what you’re actually going to do.
