The Leading Deficit

We have an identity deficiency in bands.  If you’ve been in a band for more than a few weeks, a leader has at least somewhat emerged.  Maybe he (I’m going to use “he” in this post a lot, but it could be “she” too) is the lead singer, maybe it’s the drummer. Doesn’t matter. Someone has stepped up to the plate to at least schedule when you’re going to rehearse next.

Band leaders: In your mind you at least have an inclination that you are in fact a leader. Own it. Step into it. You were wired that way and will always be that way.  It’s time to lead your band better.

That doesn’t mean be bossy, while secretly wanting to do the work yourself cause no one else can do it right.  It doesn’t mean spreading yourself so thin that you don’t get to sleep, while everyone else sleeps in. It doesn’t mean not getting to be a part of the creative side because you’re THAT GUY in the band.

Being a leader actually means a lot of great things, which I want to get into in future posts.

But it’s hard to look at yourself as a leader in a band when everyone is suppose to have equal value.  There’s probably part of you that doesn’t want to even admit you’re a leader because you just want to be a dude in a band. Band of brothers. Everyone’s the same. 

You really need to get over this. The sooner the better.  It’s time to learn how to lead rather than dodging your innate qualities.

Everyone in the band can have the same value, but it’s just different values. Maybe I can even appropriately throw out the term separate but equal in this case.

Guy, from That Thing You Do, was just as important as Jimmy.  

You have the burden and blessing of leading your band and your team.

A leader understanding that he is a leader and pouring lots of time and energy into doing that well in his given situation (a band), will add value to every person, meeting, rehearsal, show, interview, bus ride that happens in the life of the band.

And that’s what you’re looking for: life in the band.

If you’re the type of person who has read this entire post, my 8-ball is saying you’re probably a leader. Get to it.

p.s. In my experience and observing a million bands, the lead singer is usually involved in the leadership of the band. This isn’t always the case, but usually the case. Off the top of my head I can’t say exactly why this is (let me think on that), but it’s a general truth that you might want to embrace.

State Of The Union

I watched the State of the Union address last night.  It’s crazy after watching House of Cards how your view changes of all the possibly (but most definitely) sleazy politicians in the room.

There are two things I’d like to point out.

The first is that Obama seemed to be good at delivering his speech.  But you know what he wasn’t? He wasn’t A LOT better (than I remember) at delivering his speech.  He seemed comfortable and confident, this being his 6th SOTU address and probably his thousandth speech since taking office.

But when you get to be president, your skills don’t dramatically improve just because you live in the white house.  There’s not some instant, fast track to speaking to the American people.  Obama was a good speaker to start with, and now he seems a little better, from a lot of practice.

I know this is a bit of a rehash of a point I made last week, but this was a great illustration of it.  Getting better at something takes time and practice, and can be expedited if you’re willing to pay very close attention. Phycological, sociological attention.

The second thing I want to point out is this.  During his speech, Obama used the phrase “young and in love in America”.  I wrote this down right away and googled it thinking I’m sure there’s a massive hit song with this title and I just can’t remember it.

Turns out there isn’t. Not at all.

At least not on the entire first page when you search it. So if you don’t have anything to write about today, there you go. Cause a title like that should be a giant hit this summer.  

And you can use my story of hearing the president say it in his speech as your inspiration for writing it. In fact, say you wrote it last night right after the speech. People would love that.

The Band That Compromises Together Stays Together

What is most important to your band? What area(s) are you not willing to compromise on?

The answers to these questions come fairly easy, and with a puffed out chest. Artistic integrity gets thrown around a bunch, along with terms like creative control, power, holding the cards. All good things. Even the puffy chest.

But here’s the more scary part.

In what areas are you willing to compromise? Which areas don’t matter as much to your band? Is everyone in the band on board with this?

If you think about those questions for a minute, you probably already feel threatened, like me or someone is trying to trick you or take something from you. We’re not.

But if you can look back on the life of your band and truly say that you never compromised, then you’ve been holding the band back.

You’re going to have to work with others to get to you want to go.  You’re going to have to be a part of fulfilling someone else’s (you manager, agent, producer, etc) dreams and goals along the way, and they might be slightly different than yours. Or really different.

The Beatles didn’t start off owning their publishing. U2 didn’t start off owning their masters. But the publishing/record deals they signed, and eventually got out of, are a big part of what made them successful enough to get out of them!

Knowing the areas in which you’re willing to compromise will turn them into areas of great invitation to have other passionate, brilliant people attach their purpose and meaning to your band.

Talk about this stuff now, not later. It’s better that way.

Get Better

Are you interested in getting better?

Or are you just gonna see how it goes

Are you interested in getting better?

Or are you already good enough for now

Are you interested in getting better?

Or is that for other people, not for you

Are you interested in getting better?

Or would that require too much of something

Are you interested in getting better?

Or are you in love with the status quo

Are you interested in getting better?

Or does that feel selfish

Are you interested in getting better?

Or is that just not how you work

The whole point is that you don’t know how it’s going to play out. You don’t know the ending. No one who ever got better at something knew exactly what that would look like once they got there. 

You never know when you decide to do something how much it will help other people, stretch your own mind, inspire creativity, make you feel not-lonely.

Once you decide that you’re interested in getting better, then you can and will start learning. The cliche is absolutely true.

Stop fighting your reservations. Dismiss them and start getting better.

What’s the one thing that you’re afraid of, that if you committed to doing it everyday for three months, you would be a thousand steps forward?

So Are You Guys In A Band?

There’s that commercial out right now with the two camels at the zoo and they’re hearing all the humans make hump-day jokes.  The humans think they’re hilarious, insightful and clever, and the camels are annoyed and unimpressed.

It made me think of how many millions of times I’ve been on the road and had to field the question of “so are you guys in a band?”.  And I must say, including the word “so” on the front of that sentence is no mistake, almost everyone starts with that.

Why does that question make so many bands squirm and not really know what to say?

There’s a long answer to that question, but I’ll save that for a different day. I don’t want to go there right now.

Where I do want to go is this…What is the cashier at the gas station, the hotel front desk worker, the people sitting near you at the restaurant really asking when they muster up the chutzpah to approach you and ask the question?

The truth is they’re most likely not audiophiles.  They’re not highly interested in your music and are not scrambling to find themselves the next Bon Jovi.

What they’re asking is this: Are you someone who I can have a conversation with that will make me excited about today? Will you take me out of the norm? Can I step into your leather-clad world for a moment? I’m inviting you to make me feel special, will you do it? Will you give me a thrill?

“So are you guys in a band” is an invitation.  Even when the tone of voice is slightly condescending, they’re still taking the time and nerve to ask it, so it’s still coming from the same place.

No matter what level of success you think you have or haven’t achieved, when someone asks this, you are in a cool band, you are on tour, you’ve found a way to not have a 9-5 (at least not 5 days a week). You are an interesting person. So are they. And they just had the guts to make the first move.

What’s your move?

There Is No Giant Leap In Confidence

There’s no such thing as an giant leap of confidence for an artist. 

Each time you play a show, no matter how big or small, it only counts as one.  It’s one tiny step.

If you’re a band who’s played twenty shows and then gets to play Coachella or Austin City Limits to 10,000 that still only counts as one. Now you’re a band who’s played twenty-one shows. That’s all the steps you’ve taken.

You probably think it will count for more.  You think after you play that huuuuuuge show you’ve built up in your mind for gajillions of people that you will ascend to a higher level.  That’s just not how it works. Wish it did. Sorry.

There is something about taking that final step on to the stage that is a mind warp. For good and for bad. And you have to do it over and over and over again if you want to gain confidence.

Now, one guy might start the journey with more confidence than another, but in order to grow in that confidence its all the same, long, process.

It’s been said kinda like this before, but this is very similar to telling your wife she’s beautiful.  It doesn’t matter how lavishly you give her a compliment on her beauty.  It only counts as one. That one, amazing well thought out compliment will not boost her life’s confidence to the moon.  You have to tell her every day, and then after a long long time, she will gain great confidence in her beauty.

Go out and play two hundred shows as fast as you can.

You need lots of one’s.