The scenario is this:
It’s been a long day on the road and the drummer has been pissing you off all day anyway…and then during the show he really took it to the next level with something stupid, and then he said something even more stupid after you got off stage.
You’re fuming mad…and you need to get away from this guy. As quickly as possible.
But now here’s the thing.
The only way you get away from this guy and have some peace and quiet is when you’re finally back in the van or bus.
But you can’t get back on the road until everything is loaded up.
And the faster everything gets loaded up the faster you’ll be back on the road and have your much needed peace and quiet.
So you realize now that a fast load-out is the immediate gateway to getting what you want…and the best way to do that is to help the drummer load out his gear!!!
You’re royally annoyed at this guy but the best way to get what you want is to lend a hand.
So you do.
He knows you’re pissed, but you’re helping anyway.
You’re both talking in respectable tones. It might be all logistics (is this ready to go to the trailer? is that ready?), but you’re talking and interacting in a non-upset way. You’re doing something together.
And it’s funny how doing something nice and speaking in a not-raging-mad tone (while still possibly rightfully angry at him for the previous incidents of the day) actually has the power to change minds. It puts things in their rightful place.
So the gear is loaded up, you get back on the road, and yeah you still need some space but it’s not as bad now. It’s not so much about the other person anymore…more about it’s been a long day and it’s late and it’s time for bed.
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I’m always interested in your perspective, whether affirming or dissenting. Continue the conversation anytime: gabethebassplayer@gmail.com